We're Never Doing This Again
by WillowBlueJay17
Summary: Ronnie and Hermes experience the little moments during Ronnie's unexpected pregnancy, and Hermes usually gets the bad end of the deal. But it is truly all worth it in the end. Features a partially gender bent cast. Slightly AU to canon. Same universe as A Different Way Of Life. One-shot. COMPLETED!


Hello there everyone! Nice to see you guys again! Here we are, back for another story. And, like I promised, this is a one shot set in the same universe as my story "A Different Way Of Life", the gender bender I completed. Like I mentioned in the bottom notes of the last chapter, I wanted to do a one shot about Ronnie's pregnancy. And here it is, as promised! It's on the short side but that's fine. Enjoy!

By the way, I plan on writing two new series. One is a parody series of one shots that involves the cast of Harry Potter reacting, in character, to the various clichés and Mary Sues of the HP fanfic world. I have no idea when this one will be up. The other is another series of one shots that involves following the kids of the Next Generation throughout their years at Hogwarts, and this one will take place in the same universe as "A Different Way Of Life". I hope to start this one either by tomorrow or Sunday. Both series will be updated, whenever they're up, on a more random basis than "A Different Way Of Life" was, since there's no real storyline. Each one shot of the parody series will not be connected to each other, though a couple chapters may mention something from a different chapter. Just consider each one to be its own event. However, the Next Generation one shots will all be connected, though it will not be in chronological order. I hope you read them whenever they come out.

**P.S.: **The only knowledge I have on pregnancy is from observing one of my cousins during her pregnancy and from some quick research I did online. This is the result of combing bits and pieces from the two and molding them into this pregnancy. It's snippets from random times in the pregnancy.

Disclaimer: Alright, let's do this! I don't own Harry Potter!

* * *

"Wh-what?"

Hermes was in one of the spare bedrooms of his house, fixing up the place in preparation of something he never thought he would go through again. He had learned about two months earlier that his wife, Ronnie, was pregnant again.

To say it was unexpected was an understatement. Hermes had thought that after Rose and Hugo, the Granger family wouldn't be expecting anymore additions.

Not that Hermes wasn't excited. No, he was immensely excited to have a baby around the house again! As were the baby's older siblings. Rose wrote home four times a week asking about any new developments with Ronnie and if the gender of the baby was known yet. Hugo was on air, enjoying the prospect of no longer being the baby of the family, though he still maintained that it would be best if the baby was a boy.

The extended family was more than ecstatic as well. The grandparents wanted to know about every little update, even though Ronnie was still in the early stages of her pregnancy. Ronnie, Harri, and Ginny talked for hours on end about what was coming, occasionally involving some of the other in-laws in the conversations. And Hermes had to deal with each of Ronnie's older brothers sending him threatening gazes…

All in all, though, it had been a normal pregnancy so far…Until now, that is…

"You heard me," Ronnie said as she watched Hermes drop the roll of wallpaper in his hands.

"Say it again…" Hermes said, sounding as though he was in shock. The roll of wallpaper stopped by where the baby crib was being magically assembled, "I don't think I heard you right…"

Ronnie stepped up to Hermes and put his face in her hands, looking at him with a smirk.

"We're. Having. Twins," she said slowly.

"Twins," Hermes repeated.

Ronnie nodded.

"…_Twins_?" he asked.

Another nod.

"…Fred and George are going to have a field day with this," Hermes said with a sigh.

"Tell me about it," Ronnie agreed, putting a hand on her stomach, which wasn't showing off her pregnancy just yet, "Now this makes three sets of twins in the family. The twins trolls, Lorcan and Lysander, and now our kids…"

"I wonder if they will be identical twins," Hermes said with a soft grin as he too placed a hand on Ronnie's stomach.

An expression of horror came across Ronnie's face at that suggestion.

"Don't even say it!" she exclaimed, "Oh, what if they're like Fred and George?"

Hermes let loosed a shudder at the idea. He wrapped his arms around Ronnie and gently kissed the top of her head.

"At least our lives will never be dull," Hermes said as he slowly stroked Ronnie's short hair.

"Hey, Dad? Mum?"

The two parents turned towards the doorway, where Hugo, their nine year old son, stood with a letter in his hand.

"Rose wrote again," he said, "She wants to know more about the baby. What should I tell her?"

"Tell her that the baby has become two," Ronnie replied.

Hugo stared at his mother in surprise for a moment.

"…Twins?" he asked. Ronnie and Hermes both nodded, "What if they're like Uncle Fred and Uncle George?"

"_Don't say that_!"

* * *

"_Hermes_…_Hey, Hermes, are you awake_?"

Hermes slowly opened his protesting eyelids. He took a glance at his alarm clock, which showed that it was only two in the morning. Hermes rolled over to his side to send a sleepy glare at his wife.

"Ronnie," he groaned, "It's early…Didn't the Healers and your Mum say that rest is important for you?"

"I know," Ronnie whispered in return, "But listen, can you get me something to eat?"

Hermes felt every sane part of his brain sending him the same message, to run. This was the third least favorite part of pregnancy for Hermes: Ronnie's cravings. It wasn't the amount of food that bothered him, he'd seen her eat just as much back at Hogwarts. It wasn't even the odd combinations of food that bothered him.

No, it was the fact that she seemed to develop these cravings at the most inconvenient hours of the day.

"Can't this wait until the sun has risen?" Hermes asked hopefully, silently begging his pillow to lull him back to sleep.

"Excuse me?" Ronnie said in a ticked off tone, "Your wife asks for something so simple and you can't be bothered to do it? What are you trying to say, huh?"

Hermes tried not to roll his eyes at his second least favorite part of pregnancy: Ronnie's mood swings.

"I'm not saying anything, love," Hermes said in a calm tone as Ronnie glared at him, "I'm simply saying that it is very late, or early if you wish. Most of the shops will be closed by now. And sleep is very impor-"

"Oh, it's all about you, isn't it?" Ronnie snapped, "Well, fine! See if I care!"

"Very well, what would you like, Ronnie?" Hermes said, trying to keep his irritation to a minimum.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," Ronnie piped up in a much happier voice, "Ooh, and some fish and chips…And bacon!"

As Hermes groggily staggered out of the bedroom and down the stairs to get his coat, envying Hugo, who was snoring loudly from inside his own bedroom, he found himself remembering just why he and Ronnie had initially chosen to stop after their son's birth…

* * *

Hermes was massaging Ronnie's feet, which were swollen and sore. He occasionally looked up at her freckly face and smirked at how much it glowed.

Ronnie was much happier now that she rarely felt nausea nowadays. Her cravings were more under control now, much to Hermes' relief, though she still ate quite a lot.

Now, if only those tiresome mood swings of hers would go away.

"So, how are you feeling today, Rhonda?" Hermes asked tiredly as he took his seat next to Ronnie.

"I told you not to call me that," Ronnie muttered.

"Sorry, old habits die hard."

"No matter how many times I tell you not to, you still call me Rhonda," Ronnie stated irritably, "…Are you referring to someone else? Is that it? Is there another Rhonda in your life?"

Hermes put his face in his hands at that. Every…single…time…

"Ronnie, you asked me the same thing during Rose's and Hugo's pregnancies too," Hermes stated as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I told you, I'm only teasing you."

"Sure you are," Ronnie scoffed, "You shouldn't mess around with the feelings of someone delicate like me."

After everything she had done during her Hogwarts years and based on all her stories from her time as an Auror, Ronnie was anything but "delicate". However, Hermes wisely didn't bring up this point. Smartest wizard of his age, after all.

* * *

Ronnie and Hermes had gone to St. Mungo's for Ronnie's checkup and to learn the genders of the twins. Harri couldn't get out of work at the Auror Office. So George had Fred take care of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes with Angelina, Roxanne, and Lily while he watched Hugo with Fabian, Marnie, and Gideon.

George was excited when he learned that Ronnie was having twins. Ah, the pranks he and Fred could pass down to the duo. Lorcan and Lysander had turned out to not be the pranking type, how disappointing. But perhaps these twins would be more accommodating…

As the kids played Exploding Snap in the living room, the phone rang. Hermes, much like Harri, had insisted upon integrating as much Muggle technology as they could with wizarding technology, for the kids' sakes.

"Hello?" George greeted when he picked up the phone.

It was Hermes.

Hugo looked at his uncle and, from the way he was talking, it looked like George was on the phone with Hermes. Hugo took a break from the game, which Fabian and Gideon were somehow winning while Marnie simply liked watching the cards explode, and walked up to George, who had hung up.

"Was that Dad?" he asked, "Do they know the babies' genders? Are they boys?"

"Calm down, Hugo," George said as he ruffled his nephew's hair, "You've gotten even more eager about having little brothers over the past couple weeks…What's up?"

"Rose and I have a bet," Hugo said, "If they're boys, then she'll have to do all my chores for a month when she comes back from Hogwarts."

"I'm disappointed, Hugo," George said seriously.

"Y-you are?" Hugo replied incredulously.

"I am," George answered, "…You only wagered a month? That's a rookie's bet!"

"Oh…Well, did I win?"

George smirked as he saw that Fabian, Gideon, and Marnie were also listening in curiously.

"Yes, you did."

* * *

Ronnie and Hermes were visiting the park, watching Hugo climb one of the tall trees. Hermes was a little twitchy as he observed Hugo going higher and higher, memories of his own youth and the time he fell racing through his mind.

"Mum! Dad! Do you see me?" Hugo called as he climbed the limbs of the tree with ease.

"Yeah, we do!" Hermes answered, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Keep going, Hugo!" Ronnie shouted, "You're nearly to the top!"

"Ronnie!" Hermes said sternly, "We don't want that! What if he can't get down?"

Ronnie gave her husband a look.

"Hermes, Hugo has climbed trees taller than that one since he was six. He hasn't fallen yet."

"'Yet' is the key word there," Hermes said as Ronnie rested her head on his shoulder, "I wonder if the twins will be climbing up there after him."

"Speaking of the boys, we need to think up names, remember?" Ronnie said with a yawn.

"Have you been sleeping properly?" Hermes asked worriedly, "Sleep is very important, especially with multiple births-"

"I'm fine, Hermes," Ronnie insisted, "Honestly, you're more stressed out about this than I am. And I'm the one carrying two potential twin terrors in me."

Hermes smiled at Ronnie's teasing tone. He watched Hugo reach the top of the tree and look around proudly at his accomplishment. Hermes nearly had a heart attack when Hugo released one hand from the branch, but the boy didn't fall, only waved at his parents.

"How about Patrick?" Hermes suggested as he waved back and saw Hugo climbing down rapidly, "It was my grandfather's name."

"That's nice," Ronnie said, "I like Oliver, personally."

"Isn't that Harri's old Quidditch Captain's name?"

"What, just because he's named Oliver, no one else can have that name?"

Hermes laughed at the indignant tone Ronnie had used when she said that. Suddenly, Ronnie sat up straight with a start. Hermes was about to ask her what was wrong when she grabbed one of his hands and placed it on her stomach.

Hermes' eyes widened as he felt it…A kick.

"What're you two doing?" Hugo asked as he ran up to his parents, both of whom were looking at Ronnie's stomach with odd expressions.

Ronnie reached out and grabbed Hugo's hand, placing close to where Hermes' hand was. Hugo jumped a bit as he felt one of the twins kick.

"Rose is missing out on a lot, huh?" Hugo said with a grin as he felt the twins move around.

"We'll tell her everything when she comes home," Ronnie said as she stared at her boys affectionately.

* * *

Hermes felt relieved as he saw Harri hurrying down the hall of the hospital. It was just two days after Rose, James, and Albus came home from Hogwarts. The day had been going normally enough, with Rose telling the family about her time and arguing with Hugo about the bet she had made with him. Yes, just a normal day…

Normal until Ronnie started having contractions…

"I came as fast as I could," she said as she panted, "Fred, George and Angelina are closing down the shop. They'll bring the kids when we call. You sure you don't want them here for the birth?"

"Trust me, Harri," Hermes said, "It will be better if they're not here."

Harri was about to ask why when Ronnie let out a loud scream, followed by a string of curses that could make a sailor blush. And here was Hermes' least favorite part of pregnancy: the labor.

"So, shall we get in there?" Harri suggested nervously.

"Yes," Hermes said as he took a few deep breaths, "It's stupid, I've witnessed Rose and Hugo being born, but I'm _still_ out of my wits!"

"Don't worry, Hermes," Harri said with a smile, "You're just being a father."

* * *

Ronnie lay on her bed tiredly, holding the older of her boys in her arms. Hermes was seated beside her, holding the younger twin. Harri was waiting outside for the rest of the family to arrive, giving the parents some alone time with the children.

"I hope the twins don't pick up on any of the language you were using a few minutes ago," Hermes said with a soft chuckle.

Ronnie didn't say a word. She simply smiled at the twins, taking in the sight of them. Their pink skin, their dark, downy hair. She wondered if they had her eyes or Hermes'.

"So, I'm holding Oliver, right?" Ronnie said as she gently pressed a kiss against the baby boy in her arms.

"Then, I'm holding Patrick," Hermes said tenderly, "What are their middle names?"

Ronnie looked at Hermes, as though the answer should be obvious. Hermes looked back at her amusedly.

"Fred and George?" he asked, gesturing to Oliver and Patrick respectively with his head.

"We may regret that in the future," Ronnie said with a nod, "But it's fitting."

The two turned towards the door when they heard it open. Harri ushered in an excited Rose and a curious Hugo, stating that everyone else would wait until the kids saw their little brothers. Rose practically ran at her parents.

"They're so cute!" she squealed, adding in a softer tone, "Who's who?"

"Your mother has Oliver and I have Patrick," Hermes said.

"They don't have red hair," Hugo stated as he stood by Rose's side, "Just born and they're already rebelling."

"I don't mind," Ronnie said, "I always said that I liked your father's hair."

Hermes blushed at the compliment while Rose cooed and Hugo rolled his eyes. Hermes thought over the past few months. With Oliver and Patrick here, everything was worth it…But…

"We're never doing this again, are we?" Hermes asked.

"We better not, if you know what's good for you," Ronnie said warningly to Hermes, "So, shall we tell everyone else to come in?"

"Yeah, Uncle Fred and Uncle George want to see them," Rose stated.

Ronnie and Hermes simultaneously groaned as Hugo went to the door to let everyone in. They could only hope that the Weasley twins wouldn't go and corrupt the Granger twins…

* * *

This was fun to write! And here we are! Let's all say hi to the newest members of the family, Oliver Fred Granger and Patrick George Granger. They have their father's hair color, although their hair won't be bushy like his, and they have their mother's eye color. They're just born but I'm getting their personalities down now. I see Oliver as being more of the fun loving, adventurous, impulsive type. Meanwhile, Patrick is the calmer, easygoing, planning type.

I needed to write this one shot so that I could start on the Next Generation story. I hope it'll be up sometime over the next couple of days.

Thanks for reading and please review!


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